Out of the Blues ep6

"changes towards the better might not totally for the better. it might be an annoyance for the others."
-mugen, 2009

Out of the Blues ep5

"Expectations in friendship may lead to affliction"
-mugen, 2009

cited from www.boygeniusreport.com

StrenghtQuest

as one of the insanely abundant homework from my seminar class (1credit but the subject with the most homework), it's just a small quiz on my strengths that have been dormant inside me...thou' i don't really know for sure about the credibility of the quiz (it requires some kinda code to register...my guess is that the seminar paid the website for the code for each people)...but it seems encouraging and credible enough...

Connectedness
-You see that all things happen for a reason. You believe that all things are working together in a purposeful manner.
-You feel connected to life itself. Therefore, you feel a responsibility to be considerate, caring, and accepting toward others.
-Sensitive to the invisible hand, you can give others comfort that there is a purpose beyond our humdrum lives.

Adaptability
-You easily adjust to many things all day long because you naturally live in the moment.
-To others, things seem to just “fall into place” for you. Help them recognize that it isn’t luck. You have a talent for adjusting to changing circumstances.
-You create the future out of the choices you make right now, one choice at a time.

Relator
-You can form close relationships with people, and you enjoy doing so.
-You know many people, and you can relate with all kinds of people. But you also have a very small group of friends with whom you have incredibly deep relationships.
-Some people may feel threatened or uncomfortable because they don’t have the close, intense personal relationships that you thrive on.

Developer
-You love to see others make progress, and you will notice even the slightest progress.
-You are a natural encourager. Take the time to call or e-mail people who need your encouragement most.

Individualization
-You view each person as a distinct, one-of-a-kind individual.
-You instinctively observe each person’s style, each person’s motivation, how each thinks, and how each builds relationships.
-Because you are such a keen observer of other people’s strengths, you can draw out the best in each person.

*i hope that this will make me feel better and drive me to be a better person. =)

Out of the Blues (explicit version)

WARNING! DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED BY WORDS!

pepatah melayu: konek aku tgh reload

contoh penggunaan:-

"ko nih bila nak couple lagi? tak takut gersang?"

"konek aku tgh reload la..."
-quoted from anonymous
-maksud: belum bersedia untuk memulakan hubungan baru...

SIG First Event - Pot Luck™

Venue : Round House (room 505 & 506)

Date : 16th October 2009

Time : 8.00pm (starts at 8.40pm because janji melayu)

Attendees : Freshman and Seniors.

Organizer : Shasha, me and Sarah Ez

walaupun terdapat sedikit kecelaruan dalam menjalankan aktiviti ini, tapi sudah memadai sekadar dapat merapatkan silaturahim antara rakan2...itu matlamat utama aktiviti kali ini...

Special Post

Rara namanya dia anak yang cantik, anggun, pintar, kaya-raya, baik hati, dan ceria. Dia anak yang sempurna sangat sempurna, tapi hanya satu kekurangannya yaitu tidak mempunyai tubuh yang sehat. Sekarang dia duduk di kelas enam di bangku sekolah dasar dan kini sedang menghadapi ujian akhir.

Lalu setelah lulus, dia mendapat nilai tertinggi sekabupaten. Dia masuk sekolah yang bernama SMP 2, sekolah terfavorit di wilayah ini. Suatu hari ayahnya memberi sebuah kamar tidur yang diberi nama oleh Rara ialah “Father”.
“Kenapa diberi nama seperti itu?”, tanya ibu
“Karena ayah jarang pulang ke rumah, lagi pula ini adalah hadiah yang sangat berharga bagiku. Karena di dalamnya terdapat mainan, buku-buku, dan juga alat-alat musik yang Rara sukai ma”, jawab Rara dengan girang.

ps: jika berminat hendak baca secara lanjut, rujuk sini . saja diletak cerita di atas utk mengelakkan spoiler pada blogspot2 tertentu. harap faham.

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this special post is dedicated towards ____ for asking me questions about myself.

to clarify your doubt and hatred, let me state this:

"aku tau la ko nak emo2, tapi sikit2 dah la. yg ko pegi layan sgt perasaan ko tu sgt knp?"

-perkataan emo sbnrnyer tak wujud. sekadar gurauan antara rakan2. setiap orang ada masa sedih dan gembira. kalau tak wujud salah satu, anda seorang robot. dalam setiap masa org nmpk aku 'emo', aku sedang berfikir tentang banyak benda dalam satu masa yang memerlukan aku tidak gelak atau senyum kerana risau akan terlupa apa yg difikirkan. akhir sekali, aku pernah sebut yang semua org selain keluarga aku hanya kenal 50% dari diri sebenar aku.

"not only its bad for ur health"

-aku sakit bukan sebab 'emo'. cuma terlalu letih. berfikir memburukkan kesihatan? padan la orang hisap dadah sihat semacam...

"dah la org mcm aku yg lemah needs sumthg to look up"

-adakah aku seorang manusia di dunia? ramai lagi rakan2 yg boleh dipercayai utk menyimpan rahsia dan memberi nasihat. bukan nak bersikap sarcastic, tapi, in worst case, tuhan letak kat mana? bawah kerusi?

"klu ko asyik wat perangai mcm ni,aku pun mlas nk layan tau tak"

-sila tunjukkan bukti aku pernah mintak orang layan aku bila aku sedang emo/berfikir. tak semua dilahirkan hiperaktif, autistic, down syndrome, happy go lucky, pendiam/emo/kuat fikir, gay, atau lesbian. jika tak mahu layan, dipersilakan.

"apa yg ko try nak cari? macho? emo? cool? apa jadahnya...aku seriously MELUAT"

-tidak ada satu pun tekaan anda betul. minta maaf. anda gagal menafsir. aku mencari penyelesaian dan ketenangan. seperti dikatakan awal2, anda baru kenal 50% dari diri aku. meluat? perasaan itu lahir akibat anda termakan dengan emosi (bukan emo) sendiri.

"maybe takde org penah ckp kat ko camni. maybe people enjoy. i dunno."

-pernah ada org tegur, tetapi orang itu sendiri minta nasihat dari aku berkaitan emosi. ironi? itu lah kehidupan. enjoy? itu sekadar tekaan rambang tanpa basis. logik tak kalau ditegur orang tentang pakaian yang anda pilih, dan org itu marah anda sebab tak pakai ikut taste org tu? fikir2kan

"bajet cool la emo2 ni"

-i've mentioned to many people before... I DON'T LIKE TO BE CALLED COOL! maybe you never heard that before. maybe you are just ignorant to people. they call me 'cool' in sarcastic manner. maybe you should change the way you perceive other people's comment towards me.

"please be a better person"

-ironi (maksud sila interpret sendiri). tak semestinya berubah adalah kearah yang lebih baik. seperti rakan2 pernah kata kepada aku: "kau takkan dapat puaskan hati semua org...gerenti...just ambik mana satu cara yg tepat kat kau."

"ko gak yg gtau aku satu ms dulu. ketepikan emosi. tapi apa yg ko wat ni amat kontradik."

-berfikir = emosi? emosi lebih tepat ditujukan kepada orang yg menangis, sedih, marah (seperti anda), mengamuk...jika aku tidak ketepikan emosi, ingat aku pernah jadi class rep dulu? meja kerusi sume tuh takkan wujud sebab kalau aku adalah aku yang dulu, aku terajang dulu baru tanya apa salah orang tuh. tak percaya? sila tanya rakan baik aku yg sekarang sedang ada gosip dengan ana lavant (spanish american). tanya apa berlaku masa dia tarik sejadah aku time tgh solat masa form 1 dan apa aku buat kat dia yg menyebabkan aku nyaris membuatkan dia masok hospital.

"toksah la layan sgt perasaan.."

-masakan anda juga sedang layan perasaan semasa menulis ayat ini.

"sorry terpaksa direct"

-kebenaran mmg memerlukan ketelusan. aku terima. dan aku agak direct pada komen2 aku. maaf juga.

PS: blogging tidak boleh disekat ideanya oleh orang selain penulis blog. jika tidak berminat, sila tekan butang berwarna merah di bucu atas kanan windows anda yg bersimbol 'X'. pasti akan menyelesaikan banyak daripada masalah anda.

R for?

the cliche question that has been asked my many onto the author:


how do you know so much about someone you don't know?
blame me and blame those who told me stories about those unknown people.

how come you don't have emotions?
when you have met the harsh reality of life and managed to get out of it in one piece, you might be like me.

how come the way you talk feels 'cool'? are you a cool-wannabe?
daym...this is the most energy saving way to speak...i get tired easily when i talk a lot...

can you see this colour?
no.

why are you so thin?
try to play games and skip your lunch and dinner everyday for months...

why are you 'emo' all the time?
emo? only in that state, i can manage my emotion.

i noticed that the way you talk to girls is like flirting. why?
that's the way i always talk to people (male & female)...and it will stay that way 'cause i don't have any other way to talk...

lastly, why the heck did you put the title for this post "R for?" ?
Revelation...not wahyu (too divine), but more to 'ilham'...this supports the second question's answer too...

Memento Mori

sharing is caring,

and caring is sharing;

is sharing caring?

yes, sharing is caring!

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what is the sharpest thing in the world?

knife? no.

diamond-coated saw? poodah cit.

japanese katana - muramasa? nani?

light saber? wrong, you are.

keris taming sari? dah karat.

then what?

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

tongue

(full stop)

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khutbah for friday's prayer (16 Oct 09, Islamic Centre - Madison)

fulan: "ya rasulullah, give me advices."

rasulullah:"don't hate each other. don't hate each other. don't hate each other."

fulan: "ya rasulullah, give me advices."

rasulullah: "don't isolate another muslim. don't isolate another muslim. don't isolate another muslim."

Hikmah

teringat kembali memori lampau ketika baru sahaja tiba di US apabila terlihat caucasians baru balik dorm dari kampung halaman sempena Columbus's Day...beg, bantal, makanan...ibarat pelajar intec yg baru balik cendana selepas cuti pendek...

fokus kali ini bukan memori mahupun memento mori, tetapi keadaan ketika aku baru sampai di US...mungkin disebabkan suhu yg tidak menentu, ataupun kepenatan melampau akibat jet-lag...aku terus mahu keluar dari dorm biarpun baru 2 hari register bilik...

kini, banyak dah berubah selepas 2 bulan masa berlalu...aku makin suka kehidupan di dorm mungkin kerana:

• dekat dengan kelas - semakin hampir dengan musim sejuk, semakin aku mensyukuri duduk di dorm yg terletak di tengah2 kampus...
• heater/aircond - boleh dipasang 24jam tanpa ragu2...bil elektrik 100% termasuk dlm sewa...
• dewan makan - murah dan sedap (lama2 bosan gak)...tapi benci sistem jual-ikot-masa-makan-omputeh...
• karaoke - boleh kata ada sesi karok tiap kali aku bawak gitar gi bilik piqa n bella...siapa nk join, lai2...satu lagu, satu ringgit...
  
• sesi masak & makan ramai2 - setiap selasa, rabu, khamis...aku suka makan dlm kemeriahan...takla rindu sgt kat hiruk pikuk rumah...
• aktiviti2 free yg dianjur oleh dorm...contohnya : boat sailing yg membership-nya berharga beribu2 dollar setahun tapi utk penghuni dorm, free...

namun begitu, aku tak berapa suka/senang dengan:

• sikap sesetengah omputeh yg sombong - mungkin diaorg tak suka asians kot...observant i am, its clear that asians (koreans, malays, indons, chinese) are not approached by many caucasians...a warm "hi" or smile would be enough for me...sigh...
  
• suhu tak menentu - dlm bilik, panas...kat koridor, sederhana...kat tangga, 3 celsius...kat lif, panas...toilet, sejuk...
• pengotor - jangan mudah percaya yg omputeh pembersih...kebenaran: pengotor cam babi...mungkin nmpk bersih, tapi pengotor...sama cam tandas kat malaysia: tak pam lepas kencing...oh, mungkin malaysia nyer lagi kotor, tapi dah dekat2 da standard...

mungkin ini hikmah disebalik jalan mana aku pilih...disetiap kebaikan pasti ada keburukan...harapan aku cuma nak manfaatkan dengan pengalaman utk tahun pertama ni...sbb pengalaman adalah guru terbaik...

Eat-Inside

"I chose to love you in silence, for in silence I find no rejection. I chose to love you in your loneliness, for in your loneliness no one owns you, but me."

(Maula,R. , 2009, October 14 3.03am, Facebook)

harap2 takde org batuk terbahak2 makan dalam.... :P

Autumn Psychology

Autumn and fall...

they mean just the same inside out...

this is the moment when the sun and the moon play their trick...

the day sometimes can become longer than the night or shorter than the night...

when the light has shunned, people emotions are under the spell of the darkness...

gloomy days make people easier to be influenced by their emotions...

when emotions sat on the face of mankind...

hatred, sadness, anger...

rule all...

this might be another 'emo' post by the author...

that he wrote for the sake of reminding himself (or others)...

to keep his head when others don't...

-La Fin-

p.s: the picture above is cited from DemocraticStuff.com.

A Day in History

mugen called me at 7 o'clock in the morning...i did not scold him or blame him for buzzing me that early because he want to confess something to me...so i sit down and hear his problem...

"i just had a dream ...the first thing i dreamt about was my family doing fine back at my home country...it was a piece of memory from a real event i experienced a day before when my father texted me to say things were fine there...before this, we lived in a broken condition where my family suffer from great financial distress and we fought a lot...

when i remembered that your senior...what's his name again? syanaz right? lost his father back then, i felt terrible...every piece of the memory i had with my father from the day i can start to remember until now came back to me simultaneously...when i tried to put myself into syanaz's shoes, something that i never expected happened...

the first tears came out and i cannot even *ucking control it...it was just a *ucking one drop of tears! u can take note of that on your history book, 'cause the last time i cried was 8 *ucking years ago! well you can say that its like the scene where taylor swift cries silently on her bed in her song 'tear drops on my guitar'...now i realize that i really do love my father...or maybe i was just homesick...you know things are hard in the land of opportunities (america)...so cut the crap, go to sleep bro...sorry to bother you...ciow!"

i said to myself, "#@$*! tak pernah2 aku bangun awal untuk dengar citer nih...siot ar mugen nih!"

Ironi

balik berbekalkan peluh keringat selepas keletihan main squash dengan kaki tempang sebelah sebab urat tegang, aku terus melepakkan diri di dewan makan atau nama glemernya Rheta's...

sambil menjamu selera, tertarik pula aku kat satu rancangan tv us nih...pasal perang di timur tengah...terdetik juga nak lihat apa cer di us yg tak di cer di malaysia...ada la satu babak temubual antara kapten platun askar US dan wartawan.

wartawan: "so how many talibans have you killed and what do you feel about your success (in killing them)?"

kapten: "i does not matter about how many talibans i've killed. it doesn't count for anything."

kapten terus menyambung ayat beliau;

kapten: "if we killed 2 or 3 citizens, we are at a loss."

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komen dari mugen si anonymous: "pfftt...selamba badak gi bedil bandar penuh penduduk wat per...bukan 2 ke 3...beribu2 dah...tak loss loss lagi ker?"

Out of the Blues ep 4

"Getting yourself into the shoes of others will make you get a free flying-kick from the respective owner of the shoes."
-mugen

"Those who fail to learn from history are condemn to repeat the history exam paper."
-mugen

"Which is true, a half-empty glass or a half-full glass? Just gimme that *ucking glass of water! Only a fool will ponder upon that silly-arse question."
-mugen

"Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason."
-anonymous

*the author felt better after being sarcastically sarcastic. Don't bother to read if you are closed-minded.

Out of the Blues ep 3

"Not until you can convince yourself, that you can convince others."

(mugen, 2009)

Out of the Blues ep 2

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

(Socrates)

klakar~~ :'D

Memorabilia - Apple Picking

*PS: Thank you Deb, Dawn and Randy for the wonderful day together!