Life Philosophy 2...

Mak Lang: adam nanti dah nak fly nih...tak rasa takut ker?
Me: hmm....(5 saat)...ntah la...tak rasa apa2 pon...
Mak Lang: takkan la tak rasa apa2 pon?
Me: tak rasa apa pon...

FEAR...
in truth,
it does ring a bell inside my head...
fear of God
fear of hell
fear of death
but to fear the challenge ahead?
negative...
to think of the fear that i might not survive the different culture there
it might as well challenge my dignity as a man...
yes...at last...egoism...i have such emotion at least...
adaptation
is what God has assimilated inside each human...
and from that alone,
mankind can survive until now...
and by that alone,
i'll make a legacy of my own the the States (insyaallah)

Penutup kepada Permulaan...

setiap yg bermula
pasti ada pengakhiran...
contohnya seperti kehidupan
akhirnya akan diiringi dengan kematian...
setiap kali kita mula bernafas
pasti akan diakhiri dengan menghembus nafas...
jika kita mula tido,
pasti diakhiri dengan bangun tido...
jadi,
mengapa kita perlu takut
akan adanya pengakhiran kepada permulaan?
jika kita takut akan perpisahan dlm perhubungan,
mengapa pada awalnya mulakan perhubungan?

*ps: terkilan org2 sedih bila dah habis semester...bukankah sepatutnya happy member dah nak fly?

Life Philosophy...

here is a small part of my conversation with Juan, my friend...


Juan: **** tu, patah tumbuh hilang berganti...
Me: biasa lar tuh...ada orang yang hidupnye tak putus2 duit, ada yg tak putus2 kasih sayang, ada gak yang tak putus2 cinta...sentiasa silih berganti...
Juan: ....
Me: manusia nih semuanya sama...kalo orang tuh lebih kat bab cinta, mesti dia kurang kat bab lain...
Juan: dah tuh, kita nih jenis yang mana?

and the conversation went on and on...
but what rekindles my thought is,
that of the theory that all human are the same...
i,
would have to see how far is that theory proven...
then only i can embrace the grasp of the understanding
close to me...
for example, some of my friends are better at scoring with girls..
they are also top scorer in academics...
not to forget,
luxurious life they had...
however,
God still put the equation into a balanced equation...
they lack in sports, religion, and life skills...
there are some friends,
who lived a hard life,
where money is a major problem for them...
however,
they have a great bond between their families...
and they excel in almost anything...
as for me,
i sacrificed my emotion,
in the exchange of rational thinking...
i can think of a problem in life much more delicately than my fellow comrads..
however,
there is a price that i must pay...
loneliness, happiness, grieve, despair...
i can't really feel those emotions...
eventhough i seem to enjoy my life
by doing things that people normally enjoy,
but to me,
empty....void...nothingness...
that's how great God is...
when i comes in being just...

Outgrown Friend...

maybe the title itself,
might give a little winding mind-boggling cognitive stress...
simply said...
it's not about your friend getting older than you...
it's about forgetting your old friend,
and move on with your new friend...
from psychology point of view,
it is when the memory from the past,
interfer with the present...
that it will create a conflict that make you take one choice...
first, to forget the past, and go on with the present...
and vice versa...
sometimes, my words are concealed...
so that people will think about the true meaning...
just ask yourselves,
do you outgrow your friends?

ATUSA Drama...

ATUSA high com selection...
another drama as i presumed...
none different from the 'real stage'...

what has been infesting the people nowadays?
even my generation,
has been backing their own words...
all the manifesto...
and other shits...
they're all but promises...
why they like to use poetical-kind-of-words...
to convince us...
eventhough,
they knew we are not that straight...
to easily bend our mind and opinion...
it would take a great mind-blowing words...
i'm sure my words are quite hard to be interpreted by normal thinking...
but let's just i conclude my words...
into simpler means...
"politics is for dirty people"

i started to notice...
even after the era of our beloved prophet...
the politics has diverged out of the straigh road...
there's so many...
'holes' and 'gap'...
that are very noticeable...
but concealed within the darkness...

all in all,
i hope that the next generation of ATUSA leaders...
will have a non-selfish intentions...
vinnie...you've done a great job, no doubt...
but taking too much opinions that'll eat your own rational thinking...
it's like the grass...
easily influenced by the wind...
the new commitee members that i've voted...
i know some of them have a different ways of thinking...
so i hope they will win the selection...

*this is just my emotional disbelieve towards the politics nowadays...be it at the top or even at the bottom of the whole story*

Tarik-tarik...

hmm...
mungkin ini yang aku miss selama aku duduk bersarang kat skolah harian dari darjah satu sampai form 5...
tradisi 'tarik-tarik' yang kononnya selalu di-praktik-kan,
di skolah2 berasrama penuh...
pabila ada seseorang yang mempunyai
sifat2 yang hanya berlainan...
dari rakan2 yang lain2...
ataupun membuat kesalahan terhadap kita...
dan dengan 'selamba badak' buat2 tak sedar,
akan kesilapan dia...
dia akan ditarik masuk ke sesuatu tempat,
yang jauh dari pandangan pihak berkuasa...
dan dibelasah...
samada secara ringan@berat...
tanpa belas kasihan...
itu lah yang sering dilakukan...
akibat tiada cara lain lagi hendak membetulkan sifat budak tuh...
padahal selagi ada otak bertamadun manusia...
selagi itu ada otak yang dapat memikirkan...
cara2 yang lebih bernas untuk menyelesaikan masalah...
dan aku rasa,
tindakan membelasah secara 'group' untuk membetulkan sesuatu yg salah...
adalah lagi salah...
dan agak 'pengecut' bagi lelaki yang sepatutnya 'macho' dan 'gentleman'...
lagi2 yang menuju ke arah gelaran yg masyuk...
seperti 'otai', 'gengster', 'bos'...
apakan dapat org yg dibelasah tu membalas balik?
mengapa paling teruk pun sesuatu keputusan,
mengapa takut untuk 1-0n-1?
adakah takut dengan kekalahan?
jika mereka2 ada otak yang lebih developed,
mengapa tidak men-sound-kan si dia dengan kata2 yg pedas?
ataupun me-report-kan si dia ke pihak atasan?
mengapa perlu group-punishment?
dan jika yg terasa dengan aku,
adakah anda nak belasah aku dlm 'group' atau 'solo'?
ini...
amat...
memalukan.....................................

Pieces...

its all coming back into pieces now...
almost all of 'em...
due to an 'unwanted' decision...
purifying aje from his dark side...
it's like a chain reaction...
all well ends well...
that's what the english proverb says...
meaning that anything that starts with good intention...
ends in a good way...
now,
life in cendana has been wonderful...
the last time i felt this way was...
i dun know...
maybe...
10 months ago?
but who cares...
he's changing...
and so does the 'aura' around my room...
the mood has been very lively round these days...
but that's only one...
now i'm very sure that i'm not ready to be in a serious relationship...
thanks to the past and the present...
there's no one yet able to strike X spot...(not my genital lor)
and that feeling is what makin me happier...
cuz life is delightful without doubt...
and with my studies now which are undoubtedly the best yet i ever achieved...
now i can happily dream of what i will be goin' thru' is the States...
yup...
things are falling to pieces...
and now...
wishing to clear off the doubt that has been circulating around my members...
hope that there will be no grudge between them...
that's my way of friendship...

ke-gay-an...

sebenar2 nya memang aku tak pernah sangka yang perkara2 yang kontroversi/teruk contohnya seperti LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisex, transex) akan berlaku kepada aku atau org di sekeliling aku...

walaubagaimanapun (cheewah...XP), perkara yg termaktub dalam contoh ke-2 yang diberi daripada terminologi LGBT tersebut diatas...YA, mmg GAY...

tapi, bukan la nak kata aku gay ker member katil sebelah aku gay ker...tapi perkara nih berlaku kat member baik aku yang berada di universiti swasta yang amat terkenal di Malaysia...

kisahnya begini...member aku tuh, R, ada la rapat ngan sorang budak 'baik' nih...R da anggap dia sama tahap ngan hubungan aku ngan R...mmg kamcheng ar sampai gi mana2 mmg tak lekang la...

tapi lepas berapa semester ntah bersama (berkawan), terjadi satu kejadian yang merubah suasana universiti tuh dari sunyi, sampai la jadi hiruk pikuk...dak 'baik' tuh, dia rakam gambar R masa lepas mandi, pastu sebarkan kat satu kampus! mmg tak boleh agak la dia kata...muka baik, tak lembut langsung, mmg cam lelaki tulen 100%!

skrg dak tuh da kene buang dari asrama laki, dah universiti tuh dlm proses nak halau dia dari U...dak tuh skrg kawan2 dia sume pompuan, disebabkan oleh dipulau dak laki...kes saman menyaman akan menyusul selepas perkara nih...

mmg takleh jangka la org yang rapat ngan kita boleh jadi camtuh...dunia nih mmg la nak dekat kiamat...tapi jangan la taik sangat sampai nak jadi gay...euuww~~

p.s: kalo nak taw korang nih straight atau gay, sila2 la tgk movie Brokeback Mountain...kalo dpt tahan sampai ending tanpa rasa apa2 kegelian, mmg sah anda ada potensi utk jadi gay...

*lama giler tak bloggin'...cam taik sket jek ayat...sorry~~*